First dates are awkward as hell. So many rules and things you do to be polite. Most guys just wish you can get super-real without becoming social outcasts. Here are some things we wish we could do on a first date. It’d make things a lot better for us. Maybe not for you, but definitely for us.
1. Compliment your looks. You look good! We sure would like to. A+ for presentation, is all I’m saying.
2. Ask how your last relationship ended. Did he just suck? Or did you burn all his things because you saw him like a female friend’s status on Facebook? If it’s the second one, we can maybe still get the check before the entrees come out.
3. Talk about how many people we’ve been with. Not that it matters, but everyone’s curious. Let’s just get it out of the way.
4. Find out how much money you make. Again, it doesn’t matter to us whether it’s low or high, we just wonder this about everyone, other dudes included. Let’s just open with our salaries and quash the curiosity.
5. Ask you whether or not you want kids. This and how religious you are (or aren’t), how important your career is, and whether or not you enjoy cooking. All things that would be totally impolite.
6. See what you look like without makeup. Guys always wonder what you look like under your makeup. I’m not makeup-shaming or anything. You look great. But just — what’s your real face like?
7. Meet your friends and family immediately. If they suck, we can save ourselves a lot of garbage interactions down the line.
8. Text you right after. This “play it cool” thing is bullshit. Are we over that yet?
9. Go on another date, like, right away. Or at least schedule one instead of constantly texting back and forth and having someone always be busy.
10. Add you on Facebook. WHY IS IT CONSIDERED WEIRD TO ADD SOMEONE ON FACEBOOK RIGHT AWAY? WHO CARES?