It’s here, that time. The last few weeks have been spent glued to his every status update on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram looking for any sign that he was thinking about you, and you’ve finally accepted that he hasn’t been. It’s official: he’s “In A Relationship”, and it’s not with you. Here are a few tips on how to deal with your ex moving on.
1. Have A Bit Of A Meltdown In Private
You gotta do this first, just to get out all your shock/anger etc. If you skip this step, it might just come back to haunt you at the wrong time, maybe in a public place. Yeah, not a good thing.
2. Avoid The FB Stalk
We all do it, that’s one of the main reasons we even have Facebook! And it’ll be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done but seriously, do not stalk him or the new gfs page. Honestly, will any good come of it? No. You’ll just end up thinking “if only I was shorter/taller/blonder or wore different clothes”, whilst crying into a slice of pizza.
3. No Contact
This is the most important rule and it’s also the toughest one. If you call/text/Facebook/tweet him right now in this state, it can only end in a fight. And you end up looking desperate. He’ll probably be expecting an angry message, so make him wonder why he hasn’t heard from you.
4. Be Around Friends
When you find out your ex is seeing someone else, it’s not a good time to be alone. Call your friends. They’ll also stop you from doing anything stupid (like point 2).
5. No Rebounds
“Now I better find someone, and quick!” This shouldn’t be the way you handle an ex moving on. They have, so what? Everyone moves at different paces. He’s probably rebounding anyway if he’s moved on fast. Don’t start frantically looking for anyone new, enjoy being single!
6. Ditto “Revenge”
Revenge is just childish. Don’t try get with his mates, or spread rumours. You just end up coming across as the crazy ex who isn’t over him. Which you are anyway, but no-one else needs to know that.
7. Don’t Compare
You and the new girlfriend are different people. She hasn’t done anything to you, so hating on her or making mean comments is a waste of time. Instead of focusing on what she has that you don’t, just tell yourself (and believe) that you are brilliant just as you are.
8. Keep A Dignified Silence
Similar to the “No Contact” Rule except it extends to your mates and his mates, especially if they’re the same mates. It makes things awkward if you’re talking badly about an ex because it can force friends to take sides. Or they could just get sick of listening to you and you’re left with no mates as well as no boyfriend. Naw…
9. Go Out And Have Fun
Forget it all and go have fun! Get dressed up and head out with your BFFs. Who needs guys anyway?
10. Talk It Out
Ask your Mom or older sister for advice. They’ve been there before and they can actually be very helpful. Just be aware, if they’re anything like mine they’ll be sympathetic but honest. So if you’re not ready to hear “it was gonna happen one day” then maybe skip this one.
11. See It As Closure
Finally, your ex moving on can be a good thing. At least you know now that it’s definitely over, and you won’t waste any more time hoping that you could get back together. And the next cute guy could be waiting just around the corner…