hampelekani mahali
relationship going nowhere

Shout out to all the ladies who are waiting for the real deal dude.You are probably working your ass off at earning that coveted prize. Do you realize that this prize may never crown your head as the queen? But the fact that you worship the ground he walks on does not guarantee you that crown.

In fact, he could be taking you for a ride.

Do you think that your feelings are taking a toll on you? Close your heart kidogo, open your eyes a bit wider and watch out for these signs 

1. He has ghosted on you severally.

You probably have planned a couple of dates together and when you are done doing your makeup, he cancels the date. Just like that.

He could have made lame excuses like a slight headache or his sick dog. He was polite enough to cancel your date, you have a good breed for a man, thumbs up.

If your man is the kind that switches off his phone after planning a date and fails to reach out on the D-day, you had better run without looking back. Not even prayers can save you from such a menace.

2. He has admitted to cheating on you.

You could be a beauty enthralled by a beast. I understand you could be having curves in all the right places but hey, a man’s gonna cheat if that’s what he’s made of.

Even if you sit on his mjulubeng and draw the word coconut, he may complain about the C being crooked.

Did you find suggestive texts on his phone and tried questioning him on the same? Did he admit to raruaring Caro and Bancy – your current besties? If so, run for the hills. He knows you are going nowhere far from his mjulus and if you leave him, he is not gonna suffer a big loss. It’s going nowhere, so cut him off, girl.  

3. You are insufficient in his eyes.

Every simple thing you engage yourself in seems mediocre to him. He constantly criticizes everything you involve yourself in.

According to him, you have a poor dressing code, your hair is always unkempt and your choice of music is in poor taste. One thing you should steer away from is doing things his way, ’cause he’ll never appreciate it. You may end up a slave to his demands and you know what? He may never pay you for that or probably he will throw in insults as payment. It’s time you did it your way girl!

4. He never includes you in his plans.

Dude probably never told you about his upcoming project because he doesn’t see you as a good fit in his life. He may never tell you about his new car until you see it in his parking lot then he will make up all the excuses in the world.

He may talk about forgetting or planning it to be a surprise.

And wait, did he tell you about his pay rise? I guess not. His money matters and you don’t make sense (and cents) in the same discussion. If the cheque is out of this, just check in, check again then check out.

5. Check on his phone game.

Did he call back after the date to check whether you got home safely or he was just about stirring the honey pot? How often does he call you in a day? How long does he take to reply your texts or does he never reply to any? Does he initiate contact or do you do the parroting?

Do not listen to a man who insists that chatting is not his thing. If you mean so much to him, he will be constantly ringing your phone to check on you. If he constantly forgets to call you back or reply to your texts, you don’t mean a thing to him; sorry to burst your bubble.

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Check out on who hangs up on the phone first. If he hangs up on you before you are done conversing, you are a bore to him. Try going cold turkey with communication for a while and see if he ups his game. If he doesn’t, let him be gone forever. There are better things in this world than blue ticks!

6. You have scanty information about him.

Have you tried sourcing some information about him from his peers and somehow it doesn’t resonate with what he told you? Do you know where he works or is it some big secret that you are yet to unearth? Do you know his family roots or does he decline to give you the slightest clue about his family?

A guy who is into you will show you off to everyone who matters. He will give you enough information about himself without you having to probe him to do the same. If he hides you and hides a lot from you he either has some hidden agenda or you may be the hidden agenda.

7. He hardly spends on you.

Every single king would move hills in a bid to see his queen smile. Do you need to remind your man to get you a gift for your birthday? Does he buy you stuff while sulking and lamenting about the poor economy and how broke he is?

If you mean the world to him, he will try to impress you with goodies regardless of how expensive they are. You don’t always have to remind him to get you those awesome shoes. He will always have you in mind if you mean the world to him.

Does he invest in proper dates or does he just chill at your place, gobbles everything in your fridge, chews you raw then terms that as a date? A man will only invest in what he terms or finds worthwhile. If you appear nowhere close to such a budget, girl, keep your cookie to yourself.

Anything else you think is missing on this list?