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Yes, lovers argue, lovers can have a fight, lovers can be mad at each other. It is normal for sometimes lovers to offend each other, misunderstand each other or have a quarrel; these low points in a relationship are delicate and if not handled well they can destroy the love you two have or cause irreversible damage. To protect your love, agree with your lover that when you are mad at each other:-

Remember your love is bigger than the problem
Speak less; give each other space to cool down whether for a few minutes or an hour. When we are angry it is easy to say insensitive things so speak less when tempers flare
Refrain from insults and hurtful words
If you are the one who is hurt, refrain from seeking revenge
Pray. Allow God to comfort and give peace to your spirit
Hug. Giving each other a nice tight hug detonates the tension that can easily explode
Look at a photo of your lover. Looking at a photo of your lover will remind you just how much you love him/her
be quick to forgive and ask for forgiveness
Do not use another person to get back at your lover. Don’t get cozy with another to make your lover jealous or teach him/her a lesson. Don’t show your lover he or she is replaceable, that you can easily walk away or find a new lover. This only speeds up the death of your love
Cover your lover from outsiders; don’t run to tell another person or your family how disappointed you are with your lover, exposing your lover’s weaknesses
Address the issue quickly, the longer the issue drags the more damage it does
Know that it is normal for lovers to disagree; an argument doesn’t mean it’s the end of your love
Even when you’re mad at each other still tell each other “I love you”, this melts any defense and reminds you two why you are together
Still maintain a channel of communication. Don’t run away, hide or refuse to pick up your lover’s phone calls or reply texts. You will tire your lover if you give your lover silent treatment or cold responses of one word answers; remember your lover is hurting too
Give gifts or share light jokes and stories to break the ice, then when you’re both comfortable, talk about the issue
Establish a climate where both of you feel safe to speak from the heart without fear of being punished or attacked. This is the only way you two will deal with the issue fully, when everything is laid bare
Don’t use sex a weapon Sex should be held sacred and a celebration of love even when mad at each other
Refrain from using character assassination words like “You always do this..”, “You good for nothing..”, “You never do anything right..”, “You loser..”.. Don’t sum up all your lover is by that one issue, if your lover was that bad you wouldn’t have been together all this while. Attack the issue, not your lover; attack the sin, not the one who loves you
Analyze yourself objectively to see if you are on the wrong or you provoked your lover to do wrong, empower your lover to correct you
Ask your lover how you can improve, how you can love him/her better. Agree on what steps to take so that the issue doesn’t arise again. Ask your lover for advice, not outsiders; the wearer of the shoe knows the pinch best
Don’t go to bed mad at each other, end the issue the day it started- when it’s easy to manage
Wake each other up with loving words, affirm each other; don’t keep bringing back how much your lover hurt you yet you two already made up
Look at the bigger picture; together you’ve come too far to let this issue destroy all you’ve built. Don’t be irrational; don’t lose the vision of love. Love has ups and downs. If you conquer this issue you will set a good precedence that will make your love stand against anything in future. Use this storm to make your love stronger.
With Love
Muthoni Wachira