Okay, this isn’t going to sound great. I’m just going to come out and say it anyway. I’m having sex with my best friend’s brother. We’ve been doing it for a year. He wants to become a couple, but I can’t let his sister find out because it would ruin our friendship… but I really like her brother. Before it started, she told me not to even become friends with him, which I did. She forgave me and said it was fine as long as we stayed just friends. But after two months, we hooked up.
Have you ever felt weak in the knees, like nothing else matters? The only thing that matters is the person in front of you? Yeah… then you know how amazing and scary that can be. But my best friend’s brother took my virginity and she doesn’t know. I know you think I’m a slut but I’m not. Should I become a couple with him? Should I tell my best friend? Will this ruin everything?
Let’s get this out of the way before I give you advice: I don’t think you’re a slut. In fact, I will confidently say that you are not a slut, and if anyone says you are, they’re wrong. Seriously. You are not a slut. Please don’t call yourself that!
Okay, moving on. There’s a lot going on here, and it’s definitely a delicate and trickyit’s not really your BFF’s place to tell you who you can and can’t be friends with or date (regardless of the fact that it’s her brother), it was still wrong for you to do this behind her back for so long. The bad news is that you need to come clean, and yeah, it might mess up your friendship with her. The good news is that, even it goes badly, I promise you’ll feel a little better in the end.
I’ve actually been on your friend’s side of this situation, which is good for you because it allows me to give you better advice! A few years ago, I found out my best friend had been hooking up with my brother for almost two years behind my back, lying to me about it the whole time. I wasn’t mad that she was hooking up with my brother – I was mad, hurt, and confused because she lied to me for so long. I felt like I couldn’t trust her after that, and it did affect our friendship. The good news? We’re still friends now, and things get better every month.
Your BFF is going to be mad that you’ve been dating her brother (for whatever reason, she doesn’t seem comfortable with that). But she’s also going to be mad and hurt because you’ve been keeping it a secret from her. You can apologize for being with her brother, but what you really need to apologize for is lying. Tell her the truth: that you really, really like her brother, and that this is serious for you, not a joke. Explain why you lied – because you care about her, and didn’t want to lose her. Hopefully she will understand.
You can date her brother if you want to. Like I said, she can’t control who is in your life, and while she has a right to feel weird about her friend being with her brother, you shouldn’t give up on someone you really like because she feels that way. So, if you want to be with her brother, make that decision, then talk to her.
The best thing you can do is be completely honest. When my friend admitted the truth, she lied more, and that made things worse. Just come clean completely, even if it’s hard. Your friend might be mad for a while, but hopefully she realizes how happy her brother makes you and forgives you. Give a genuine apology, try your hardest, and hope for the best. Good luck!